plume now scratches the screen at

{Thursday, February 19, 2004}
manual on how to go blind from blogging

or, an orthopedic article inspired by the encyclopedia britannica & a single-entry blog*

B l o g g i n g was once a common method for liminal rhyming and thought preservation in the home, school, armed forces, and prisons. Mosaic code (on two tablets) was the first known blog. Blogging was not immediately wide-spread. Shaved and diminished, old women would frequently blog themselves to death when they were sufficiently numerous to despair of dates. Lack of war blogs contributed to the defeat of the American South in the Civil War.

Within the past century, 19 teenagers endured impairment by gradually replacing their penultimate corporeal members by blogs. But courtyards and playgrounds still retained the power to censor a blogger (or briter, as they were called at the time) for violent postage. In England, Scotland, and Wales the Rhyming Artmistice Act deprived play-places of their power to judge sentences. Minor blogs were still inscribed on the walls in Canada, some European and Asiatic countries, until the state of Delaware declared public blogging illegal and forced it into the discrete e-spaces of 25 different rhymes (due to limited memory, early blogs were typed over).

The instruments and methods of blogging have varied. Initially, sticks, rods, straps, and other implements were used. Elsewhere flash has been widely used, best elaborated in the form of nine epic cat tales (the plot was constructed of nine knotted links or nodes of seek&hide attached to a head site1). The Russian diary, consisting of a number of dried and hardened boards interwoven with wire was even more primal and deadly**. A particularly difficult mode of blogging, although having a smaller mortality rate, was the Oriental bloghado, or blogs delivered directly on the flesh with a coded knot or a flash plug-in. Blogging was formerly executed with great brutality. Bloggers’ backs were lacerated, and salt was poured into the wounds to produce permanent archives.

Today, blogging is strictly electronic, and wall- and body-blogging has been outlawed. However, the ancient blogging practices are preserved in the language: bloggers use blog skins as their support2, apply settings3, index their archives4. Further, many blog servers allow for conversion of line breaks, which used to be a very important strategy of double-coded writing5. And so on, examples are numerous.

* that data is necessarily dated, and dates to the current blog-date, which will, necessarily, soon become outdated, and, sadly, quite unsuited for either pruning or dating.
** early bloggers would often poke their eyes out by accident while compiling their linked archives.

1 in today’s blogging nomenclature, we call this an archive
2 of course, unlike the original bloggers’ skins, these serve as templates+, and can, theoretically, be expanded ad infinitum++
3 undoubtedly, a distortion of the original sittings, of which at least three were needed to produce a single blog
4 once more, we witness a reversal of meanings: first archives often ended up on the Index, with other forbidden scrolls
5 of course, i am referring here to the common practice of bloggers standing on their heads when confronted by the blogging police and successfully imitating street signs. Blogs were often written in specific shapes which, from a certain distance, could be taken for “DO NOT TOUCH! DANGER!” signs.

+ template, of course, refers to the later period where wall-blogging continued to be practiced clandestinely, in abandoned temples
++ limits on the imperial blog expansion may be set by the blogger server, which further shows the revolutionary social changes brought about by blogs: the server exercises control over the masthead.

| To cite this page:
| MLA style: {Medieval Logging Aformation}
| "Blogging." Orthopedic Cycle. 2004. Orthopedia Online
| <->

| APA style: {Ancient Pre-Blogging Affirmation}
| Blogging. Orthopedic Cycle. Retrieved from Orthopedia Online.
| <->

| Orthopedia style:
| "blogging" Orthopedic Cycle from Orthopedia Online.
| <->

plumed @ 3:21 PM | 0 comments



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